Thursday, February 9, 2012

How to speak his language

12 Years Ago by *megan_elzey*

If you were to straight up ask your husband if he wants you to respect him, he may not know how to respond. He has probably not thought about it using that exact word, but chances are really good that what he does want from you is admiration, devotion, and to know that you are behind him 100%. He most likely already knows that you love him, but he may not be sure if you like him. 

Here are some ideas that you could use to show your husband that he is still your man:
*Tell him how much you appreciate the work that he does for your family.
 Sometimes, especially if women also work outside of the home, wives and husbands can get in an unspoken (or even spoken!) war over who works harder throughout the course of a day. This is simply an argument that has to stop, because it will never lead to anything good. Husbands and wives both have incredibly important roles to play, both in the dynamics of the family as well as the marriage. Take the initiative to tell your husband that you are thankful for the work that he does to support your family, and mean it.

*Tell him that you really enjoy being his wife.
 There was something that originally attracted you to your husband. There were characteristics of him that made you fall in love with him. Tell him the things that you love about him. You could either just tell him, or you could write it in a note and leave it for him to find. My personal favorite is to write individual characteristics that you love about your husband, and either give them to him once a day, or leave them for him to find. 

*Tell him you value and support him as the leader of your family. 
 Again, this can get sort of blurred when both spouses work outside of the home, but God specifically states that he created men to be the leaders of their families. As with everything, if you go against God's design for something, it will not go as smoothly as He planned.

*Tell him that you are still attracted to him.
 He really needs to know this. Through the course of the day, we women can get exhausted and weary from tending to all the things that need tending to. Sometimes, once we put the kids to bed we just want to crash. This is valuable time, though, that you can use to connect with your husband. When you feel like you are connecting emotionally with your spouse, it will make you want to connect physically as well. And remember what I said yesterday, feelings are terrible leaders but they are great followers. If you put forth the effort to show your spouse that you are attracted to him, your feelings will follow your actions. 

*Tell him that he is a great father.
 Let him know how you love seeing him with the kids, and encourage him in his father role. Remember that God created men and women differently, so naturally they will have different ways of dealing with things. Even if your husband doesn't do things as you do or as you think they should be done, let him do them his way. Don't let your frustration over what your husband allowed your children to eat or how he dressed them override your support for him as your children's father. 

Give some of these ideas a good honest try. And leave it at that, without expecting anything in return. If you do them hoping to change something about him, your selfish ambition will show through. If you do them because you really want your husband to know how you feel about him, I think you will find that he will begin to show you how he really feels about you. It's a win win!


Christina said...

Thank you for posting this! I found your blog through your comment on Always Learning. These are great tips.

*megan_elzey* said...

Thanks Christina :) I hope you were able to find some useful ideas.