"I'm finding myself at a loss for words, and the funny thing is it's okay. The last thing I need is to be heard, but to hear what You would say." from Word of God Speak, by MercyMe.
My little boy, he is the sweetest, most beautiful, gentle boy on the planet. I'm sure of it. You would agree if you knew him. He's not perfect, just like everyone else, and he is a boy, so he does get in mischief. He is only 4, afterall. But I love him more than I could ever explain. I love my girls, too, desperately. But there's just something about my boy.
"I'm finding myself in the midst of You, beyond the music, beyond the noise. All that I need is to be with You, and in the quiet hear Your voice."
And in his 4 years, he has already endured more than I wish he had to. At 2 1/2 he had a concussion that resulted in a seizure and an overnight stay in the hospital. Just this past January, right before his 4th birthday, he had a bad case of bacterial pneumonia that resulted in an overnight stay in our local hospital followed by a transport to the closest Children's Hospital and two more nights in the hospital.
And now, he has another medical issue going on. And we are in the grueling process of waiting. His regular doctor has referred him to a pediatric GI specialist back at the Children's Hospital where he had his last stay. The issue that he has is apparently sort-of common in children, but the "common" cause for it is not what is causing his. And we wait, for the referral to go through, for the word back that he has an appointment scheduled, for answers. And every time I have to go and tend to his issue, I pray. I pray for God's hand over my little boy. For Him to go before us and iron out the paperwork. That He would fill Hudson with comfort, as he is figuring out that something is wrong. That He would fill me with peace and patience and understanding, as His will plays out in the life of my son.
"Word of God speak,
would You pour down like rain, washing my eyes to see your majesty. To be still and know that You're in this place. Please let me stay and rest in Your holiness. Word of God speak."
Lord, I trust You. No matter what.