The secret

"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."  Phillipians 3:12-13

Paul had it right when he wrote this letter to the people of Phillipi. He passed on some valuable knowledge to his friends, but it was not something that he was just casually saying.

He had learned. How do we learn? We learn from doing, from experiencing, from hurting and growing. Paul had learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, because he had lived in many different situations. By the time he had written this letter he had experienced many time of plenty and times of pain, and he knew that in all of those situations he felt the most content when he had his eyes fixed on Christ.

Being a follower of Christ doesn't mean that you will never face hard times. But what it does mean is that no matter what you face, you have the promise that Christ will never leave you. He will be your strength.

From my kitchen

Fresh bread cooling, working on a casserole to bake in preparation for lunch after church the next day, and dough in the bread machine for yummy whole wheat rolls. That's a full afternoon, even with a helper!

Two years, and so much life

 My third and final baby turned two yesterday. Two years, and so much life, have gone by since her amazing home birth. I keep trying to find the words to describe my feelings, but I can't.

Three weeks after she was born, our family went through a trial that brought us closer to the breaking point than I ever want to be again. In a way, I think her birthday will always be a reminder of that for me. Remi Grace. In the two years since she was born, God has filled our lives with Grace abounding. She is a reminder of God's constant protection, constant guidance, and love overflowing. And, of course, His Grace. I can't imagine what our lives would be without it. I can't imagine what our lives would be without her.

God's Grace. My sweet Remi. My life is amazingly better because of both.

This morning

This morning I am loving:

* my morning coffee

*that my husband has been incredibly busy for the past two weeks and has still maintained a kind and loving disposition

*how joyful my 5 year old is, and how easily she can be brought to giggles (which is what one of her favorite uncles has actually nicknamed her)

*how my sweet, tenderhearted boy calls my almost 2 year old "fweetie" (for "sweetie")

*how my baby girl is so grown up, has an incredible vocabulary, and is figuring out just what role she plays in this family

*the 40 Days in the Word  study that my church and small group are doing; awesome!!

*that Spring seems to be showing up here and there; I have seen some crocuses blooming and my daffodils are just about to as well

*the anticipation I feel about getting my hands in the soil of my vegetable garden, and seeing just what this growing season will bring

Happy Friday to you all! We have a very special weekend coming up, as we celebrate our third and final baby turning 2. So much joy, so much emotion.

So easy cheesy chicken enchiladas

(It's quite a spread when you are feeding five)

I don't have exact measurements for this recipe, because I loosely followed a recipe from my Food Nanny cookbook (actually, it's isn't mine, it belongs to the library, and just the fact that I referred to it as mine lets me know that I REALLY need to get my own copy) for the cooking times and temperature. But, it is so quick and easy that I know it will become a family favorite.

Chicken Enchiladas
-about a pound of chicken, cut into strips
-lots of shredded cheese, in any combination you choose (the recipe calls for monterey jack and pepper jack combined with cheddar, but I only had mozzarella to combine with cheddar)
-any enchilada fillers you choose (mushrooms, olives, tomatoes, enchilada sauce, etc)
-flat tortilla shells (you can use the big or small ones, but I can only find the big ones in whole wheat, so that is what I always use)

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees and liberally spray your baking dish with oil. I don't like much leftovers, so I just used a square baking dish and squeezed them in there.
2. Cook the chicken until done.
3. Lay your tortilla shell out, fill it as much as you want with chicken, cheese, and whatever fillings you choose.
4. Roll up tortilla shell and hold it closed with a toothpick. Place in greased pan.
5. Once all of your tortillas are filled and in your pan, spray over your shells with olive oil. This will make sure the shells are nice and golden crispy. I also sprayed the areas where my tortillas were touching each other so they didn't stick together.
6. Cook for about 8 to 10 minutes until golden on top sides. Take out the toothpicks and carefully flip enchiladas over. Cook for another 5 minutes or so until golden brown.

You can serve these with sour cream, salsa, guacamole, lettuce, or anything you choose.

Dealing with conflict in marriage

This past Sunday, my husband and I brought our children home from church, put them down for naps, and proceeded to have a huge argument. As in, both at times talking very passionately (I wouldn't quite say yelling), both at times crying. You might think, "That's strange, why would she write about fighting with her husband?" The thing is, in the past my husband and I never argued. If there was conflict, it was briefly brushed over if at all, and it was put away. Although the idea of never arguing with your spouse may at first seem nice, the reality is that when conflict isn't addressed, it just sits there, simmering under the surface until it explodes. Two years ago, this happened in my marriage.

While putting the pieces of my nearly-imploded marriage back together, I read a quote that said one of the top indicators of divorce is unresolved conflict. The fact is that unless you live in a world where you are the only one you ever see, there will be conflict in your life. There will especially be conflict in a marriage, where you are spending a great deal of time with the same person, who has different feelings, opinions, and ideas than you. What you do with that conflict is one of the biggest indicators of how satisfying your marriage will be.

Now, I am certainly no expert on dealing with conflict since, as I just mentioned, I have only been actually dealing with it for about two years now (out of the 13 that we have been together), but what I do know is that it must be done. When my husband and I have an argument, there are some things that we always try to do. First, we try to not get defensive. This is harder for me, and it drives my husband crazy. During our argument on Sunday, my husband actually said, "Okay, I feel myself getting defensive, and it drives me crazy when you do that, so I am going to step back and start over." He literally lowered his shoulders, took a breath, and started over.  Second, we try to approach things in a non-attacking manner. I wouldn't necessarily said that we do the "When you do this it makes me feel..." approach that most therapies say you should, but we try to talk in a non-threatening way and just really say what the issue is. Also, we don't stop the conversation until we both have said all we need to say, even if it means talking about multiple things. And finally, we try to truly move on from the conflict. We have both said what we need to say, figured out what needs changing if anything, and we leave the conflict there. This is harder for me than it is for my husband. He is always ready to hug and be fine when we are done talking, but I take a little longer. On Sunday, I actually told my husband, "I'm fine, I don't have anything else to say, but I'm not ready to be kissy with you yet." He chuckled and said, "Okay, thanks for telling me that." After a little while, we were both ready to smile at each other and move on.

This has been a big challenge for both of us to learn, since we are both conflict avoiders, but it has done wonders for our marriage. Conflict can actually be good for your marriage if you use it to improve your relationship instead of bring distance between you.

Seasons of Marriage

 Life has ebbs and flows. Just as the weather changes through the seasons, so does a marriage. The way you feel about your spouse is never a constant. There will inevitably be "winter" times, when it seems like you are cold and distant from one another. These times may last a few days, or months, or even years in some marriages, if a couple gets into the habit of not resolving conflict and harboring resentment that builds over time. This is a season during which a lot of marriages end in divorce, because it is in these times that it seems like you will never be happy together.
If your marriage is in a "winter" season, don't despair. If you would make the conscience effort to turn to one another and work to rebuild your relationship, you will begin to feel the coldness fade, and new growth will take it's place.

The "springtime" in marriage is filled with new wonder and possibilities, as a couple rediscovers their love for one another and begins to enjoy each other again. This doesn't usually happen over night, but gradually, as you work towards one another instead of away. Even the deepest "winter" season in marriage can always be transformed into a "spring" season, but it does take determination and work.

No matter how long you have been married, you can do your best to keep your marriage from sinking into a "winter" season. If you determine to put any past hurts behind you, always address conflict when it arises or within 24 hours, learn how to communicate your needs to your spouse and understand your spouse's needs as well, and learn how to respect your husband or love your wife, you will find that the ebbs and flows of your marriage will never dip too low, and will be filled with plenty of sunshine.