How to speak his language

If you were to straight up ask your husband if he wants you to respect him, he may not know how to respond. He has probably not thought about it using that exact word, but chances are really good that what he does want from you is admiration, devotion, and to know that you are behind him 100%. He most likely already knows that you love him, but he may not be sure if you like him. 


Here are some ideas that you could use to show your husband that he is still your man:
*Tell him how much you appreciate the work that he does for your family.
 Sometimes, especially if women also work outside of the home, wives and husbands can get in an unspoken (or even spoken!) war over who works harder throughout the course of a day. This is simply an argument that has to stop, because it will never lead to anything good. Husbands and wives both have incredibly important roles to play, both in the dynamics of the family as well as the marriage. Take the initiative to tell your husband that you are thankful for the work that he does to support your family, and mean it.

*Tell him that you really enjoy being his wife.
 There was something that originally attracted you to your husband. There were characteristics of him that made you fall in love with him. Tell him the things that you love about him. You could either just tell him, or you could write it in a note and leave it for him to find. My personal favorite is to write individual characteristics that you love about your husband, and either give them to him once a day, or leave them for him to find. 


*Tell him you value and support him as the leader of your family. 
 Again, this can get sort of blurred when both spouses work outside of the home, but God specifically states that he created men to be the leaders of their families. As with everything, if you go against God's design for something, it will not go as smoothly as He planned.


*Tell him that you are still attracted to him.
 He really needs to know this. Through the course of the day, we women can get exhausted and weary from tending to all the things that need tending to. Sometimes, once we put the kids to bed we just want to crash. This is valuable time, though, that you can use to connect with your husband. When you feel like you are connecting emotionally with your spouse, it will make you want to connect physically as well. And remember what I said yesterday, feelings are terrible leaders but they are great followers. If you put forth the effort to show your spouse that you are attracted to him, your feelings will follow your actions. 


*Tell him that he is a great father.
 Let him know how you love seeing him with the kids, and encourage him in his father role. Remember that God created men and women differently, so naturally they will have different ways of dealing with things. Even if your husband doesn't do things as you do or as you think they should be done, let him do them his way. Don't let your frustration over what your husband allowed your children to eat or how he dressed them override your support for him as your children's father. 


Give some of these ideas a good honest try. And leave it at that, without expecting anything in return. If you do them hoping to change something about him, your selfish ambition will show through. If you do them because you really want your husband to know how you feel about him, I think you will find that he will begin to show you how he really feels about you. It's a win win!

The day that reminds us to love (err respect)

So, Valentine's Day is coming up. This is a day that, for most women, can bring about any number of feelings. No matter how this day has gone for you in the past, this year why don't we let it be a reminder to show our loved ones how much we love and appreciate them all throughout the year?

There are numerous verses in the Bible that talk about love, both about Christ's love towards us and ours to Him, and about love between husbands and wives. It is a very important thing! You may have heard love being described as an action and not a feeling. I think this is true. One of our pastors at church once said something that has stuck with me. He said, "Feelings are not good leaders, but they are great followers". Feelings can come and go on a whim. When you married your spouse, you made the commitment to love even when you don't "feel" like it. When you make the choice to daily show love to your spouse, your feelings will follow your actions.

Things get tricky here, though, because while we as women speak the language of love, our husbands speak the language of respect. Ephesians 5:33 says, "Each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." God created women to love, so He does not have to remind them to love their husbands. He does have to tell them to respect their husbands, though, because that is not something that comes naturally. Similarly, God created men to respect, so He does not have to remind them to respect their wives. He does have to remind them to love their wives, because that is not something that comes naturally. It is no surprise that the words "when they deserve it" are missing from that verse. Feelings are not good leaders, but they are great followers. When a husbands feels respected, he will be drawn to love. When a woman feels loved, she will be drawn to respect. Take the initiative and make the first move!

Since this post has become much longer than I anticipated (not a surprise, if you know me), tomorrow I will share some ideas on ways we can show our husbands the respect that they crave.

Sick

We are sick today. As in I probably have strep throat and Libby may still have mycoplasma (atypical bacterial pneumonia) kind of sick.We await results.
I plan on making a yummy meat replacement that we like to use for ground beef in things like casserole and with tomato-based sauces (because my kids don't like to eat ground beef), but I probably won't do it until I feel a little better. When I do I will post about it, though.

Until then, I just have to say that I think my flowers are going to have a rude awakening if winter actually decided to show her face.

Catching some sunshine

 Yesterday evening we spent some time outside because, even though it was a little chilly, the sun was incredible.

Libby and Hudson got in some football...

and some "shoulder bumps" that they saw the high school basketball players doing.

We followed the sun to the front yard, where it was just a tad warmer.
 

(splotchy cold face)

And then he told me he was ready to go inside. It was getting chilly, and he had just fallen and scraped his knee. He had already removed all evidence of crying before I took the picture.

Cookbooks I use

As I mentioned before, I use a 3-ring binder, with lots of recipes I have acquired over time, and two cookbooks. The first cookbook I use is Healthy Choices, by Marvin and Miriam Wengerd, authors of Keepers at Home magazine. This is a really awesome cookbook. It is full to the brim with lots of healthy recipes, made with ingredients that I actually have! It also has gardening and canning tips, and has a lot of home remedies for things ranging from colds/coughing to immune boosters to headache relievers.

The other cookbook I use is The Food Nanny Rescues Dinner, by Liz Edmunds. She actually has a television show, though I've never seen it, and has a whole program where she helps women and men set up a system that works for them to have regular homemade meals. She uses the theme system and it has worked for her for over 30 years. I have tried the theme system off and on over the last few years, but never was able to find it easy to stick to until I decided to come up with my "cheat sheets." That really is the secret for me.

The thing about this system is that you can have as few or as many recipes as you want. If you want to have only two or three recipes for each theme, then you will only have the same meal every two or three weeks. Or, you can have a lot of recipes for each theme and not have the same meal for quite a while. It's really up to you. I love cookbooks, and I actually own quite a few. It's unfortunate that they all now sit collecting dust, but really having so many things to choose from contributes to my undoing.  

There is also room for you to tailor this to your own family's taste as far as what themes you choose, and whether or not you choose to include a day or two for leftovers. My family historically has not done well with leftovers. I throw away more than I reheat. So, I keep this in mind when I am planning out my meals and I make sure I only make enough for us to eat in one sitting or to have some left for only one set of lunches. I also make sure I have a date night with my husband in there once a week or so, and I either still make the meal for my children or (usually) skip that meal and transfer it to the next 2 week plan. Easy peasy!

Has this been helpful to you? I would love to hear your stories :)  Happy cooking!! Your family will reap the benefits, and you will, too :)

The meal plan!

Okay, so once you have decided which 2 or 3 cookbooks you want to regularly pull from (remember, if there are recipes that you enjoy out of other cookbooks, you could always keep a 3-ring binder and make copies of the recipes to put in your binder; I personally use 2 cookbooks and one binder), and have decided on what themes you would like to use in your meal planning, you are ready to go to the next step.

Now what you need to do is get a blank sheet of paper for each of your theme nights. My themes are Mexican (Tues), Fish/Meatless/Brinner (Wed), Comfort Food (Thurs), Pizza (Fri), Casserole (Sat), and Pasta (Sun). My husband and I go to a small group on Monday nights, so what I prepare on those nights always changes depending on what we are taking to our small group. If you have already gone through your cookbooks and made a list of the recipes you like (one of yesterday's tips), this step will be easier. On each theme page, make a small list of recipes fitting that theme that you will choose from when you are sitting down each 2 weeks (or 15 days, depending on how often you have a pay-day or choose to plan; personally, I do 15 days because that's how we have our budget set up). Beside each recipe, make a note of which cookbook it is from and what page it is on.

 

When I sit down to make my 15 day meal plan, I also make my grocery list at the same time. Since I have noted in which cookbook and on what page each recipe is on my master lists, as I decide on a meal I also take a quick look in the book to see what I need to add to my grocery list. 

I keep all of my master theme lists in a plastic paper keeper in the front of  my 3-ring binder.

When it comes time to sit down and plan out your 2 week meal plan, all you will have to do is go through your theme lists and find which recipes you would like to plug into your meal plan. I made up a sheet of paper that I use to write my meal plans on. One page is one week, so I use two sheets for my 15 day plan. I have listed each day of the week and noted what the theme is for each day.

I also make sure I make a note of the cookbook and page number where I can find each recipe on this page, too, so when it comes time to begin preparing supper I can easily find my recipe.

I know this may seem like a lot of work, but really if you break it down and work on it bits and pieces at a time until you have it all done, it's really not bad. Plus, this little bit of initial work really makes for a plan that is quick and easy to follow through on. If you work outside the home, having a plan like this will take the stress off of knowing what to make for dinner, and will save time on sitting down to plan because the theme night "cheat sheets" make the process run smoothly.

I hope you have found this helpful! If I have not explained something clearly enough or if you have any questions at all, feel free to ask!

Meal planning made simple

Before I go any further about what does work (for me) in planning out meals, I want to write about why it is so important to have regular family meals at home. It goes beyond the benefits of not having to worry about coming up with something to fix each day and saving money with less trips to the grocery store and less impulse buying (although those are great benefits).

In her book, The Food Nanny Rescues Dinner, Liz Edmunds talks about the benefits of having regular family meals at home. She talks of research done by the University of Minnesota that "investigated the potential benefits of family mealtimes on children and found that families that dine together tend to have healthier, more well-adjusted children." Their studies also indicated that "the more often children and teens eat with their parents - and the happier, more structured these mealtimes are - the more the children gain these benefits: better nutrition, better language and literacy, fewer eating disorders, and fewer risky behaviors."

There is definitely something to be said for the security and comfort (for everyone) that comes from consistent, well-planned, pleasant meals with the family all gathered together, at home!

So, here are some things that I have found work (for me) when it comes to easy meal planning:

*stick to the 2 or 3 cookbooks that you most regularly use
*if you have loose recipes lying around, gather them all together into a 3-ring binder; this way, as you print more from the internet or make copies of others that you like, you can just hole-punch them and add them to your binder; I have a binder that I use in combination with 2 other great cookbooks; I have it sectioned off into breads, brinner (breakfast for dinner), main courses, and soups
*go through your cookbooks that you plan to use, and instead of marking each page of a recipe you like, get a sheet of plain printer paper and make a list of each recipe you want to use and what page it is on; this way instead of searching through your cookbook, you have a list to quickly look at to pick out what you would like to make
*think about what your family likes to eat most, and come up with themes for each day of the week (Mexican, Italian, Pizza, etc)

This is a large part of the beginning work. Like I said yesterday, I am not a planner by nature. But, this bit of initial planning really is what makes the rest of the process much easier. When I did this, I didn't sit down and try to tackle it all in one day. Instead, I worked on it bits and pieces at a time when I had the chance (after the kids were in bed, during a little bit of down time during the day, etc). Once you have all of this done, there are a few more steps that I will go over tomorrow that makes the whole process incredibly smooth.

So get those cookbooks and start sorting! Tomorrow I will explain the rest :)